There have been some changes around our household, which is a good thing.  Not that I wasn't comfortable.  I was.  But a little coaching about my thoughts about these changes has been transformative of my experience.  Life is about growth!  

As you hear from the major news outlets, the economy is not great right now for consumers.  This affects me in a few ways.  College enrollment has been dropping throughout COVID, but starting in December, the number of class offerings at my community college to pick up as an adjunct dropped.  I have been angry (as my husband can admit to hearing my ranting), but being angry about the economy is not serving me.  

So, what do I do?  I have brainstormed working at Walmart (which is not too far as what I get paid as an hourly rate for trainings as an adjunct, another sad commentary for another time).  I have applied for other adjunct positions, ESL classes, grant writing, and I have even explored life coach school (it really has changed my experience of life) but I really do love writing! I love being an adjunct!  It is my dream job.  I get to teach, help and watch students learn how words have power to create our reality, just like out thought construct our view of our own reality!  It also allows me to teach when I want to, and still have time I want for my family.  Not only is it my hobby, luckily I get paid to do it, which I really like because I like to spend money, save money, and share money with my favorite college kids. 

So here I am again, writing more!  My life is going to go new directions and that is ok.  It is okay to feel a little scared, and to also find some confidence and excitement in there for what life holds in the future.  It really follows what Jody shared in her Take Tuesday email last Tuesday:

As a child I thought that I would grow up and become something.

I thought I'd like to be a mom.

I thought maybe I'd be a teacher or a nurse.

I thought that once I was older I would decide and then I'd become that thing and then I would just know who or what I was in this world.

But I was wrong.

I was never going to grow up to become something or someone.

I was always going to be a complicated, dynamic, ever-growing, ever-changing someone or something.

I will never be done changing and growing and learning.

I will have new interests that take me in new directions.

I will meet new people and discover opportunities I couldn't have dreamed of when I was a child.

I will be something or someone for a while and then I will move on to other things.

New goals.

New interests.

New jobs.


New friends.

That's the life of a healthy human.

There is no arrival point or finish line.

There is only the journey of what's next.

The beginning again and being not good at it, the growth that comes from practice and consistency, and then the simultaneous joy and boredom of mastery.

Then repeat.

This is what you'll grow up to be my child.

It's what you already are.

Be curious and open and loving and kind and you can't lose because there is no end game.

What a relief.

Jody and Me

Years ago, I watched the lovely movie Julie and Julia  about a fan of Julia Child who sought to copy her recipes.  In that spirit I am renaming this blog, Jody and Me to document how I  apply the principles Jody Moore, a certified life coach, teaches in her program Be Bold. What I have learned since I joined has changed my life, or the way I think about my life.  I love coaching and want to share it with others, and the best way I know how to do that is writing, so here goes!  

A little background: Jody uses the model, which teaches that circumstances are neutral, neither good nor bad.  Our thoughts about those circumstances (all of which are optional) generate feelings.  Our feelings (chemical reactions generated in our brain) prompt us to take a certain action, which leads to a certain result.  Circumstance, thought, feeling, action, result.  It sounds so simple.  But our brains have well traveled thought ruts we operate on, and though they try their very best to protect us, sometimes that protection keeps us stuck. So how did I learn about this?   

I first saw Jody Moore's advertisements on Facebook.  I thought, "Here's another multilevel marketer designed to prey on my checkbook.  What even is a life coach anyway?"  It sounded like a made up job, some nouveau riche gimmick. A year later, I heard one of my sisters had joined Jody's program.  This coincided with my eight-year-old son having some anxiety issues.  I had seen an ad for Jody that talked about anxiety so I called my sister hoping for some advice. She was very kind and expressed more concern for me than for my son.  It felt a little weird.  I wasn't the one with a problem, was I?  In the meantime, I saw my sister showing up in kind, compassionate ways to events going on in my family.  Normal family reactions include stress, drama, judgement, and empathy on overdrive (where we take on another's pain and try to fix it for them.)  Instead, she was compassionate and confident. It was impressive!  I didn't have that compassion I could offer because I was busy with the stress, drama, etc.  It hooked me. I started listening to Jody's Better than Happy weekly podcast.  It was short(ish), meaning I could listen while I was chauffeuring children.  She had some valid points and I often thought of people I know who could use it, my husband's, my children, but not me. 

Then the pandemic hit.  I had a senior daughter who was angry that I wouldn't let her hang out with her friends who she was "never going to see again," and EVERYONE was home.  For an introvert like me, I loved it because I didn't have to go out, but it was stressful because I was never alone.  The day the first coronavirus case hit Omaha was the day I was leaving the hospital following a hysterectomy due to adenomyosis.  During recovery, a pre-cancer lump was found in my breast that had to be removed and I started anticancer drugs to help prevent anything else growing.  I have dealt with my own mental health issues throughout the years, and with everything happening all at once, I figured I could use some help.  She keeps her price (very reasonable for life coaches) at $49 a month with cancellation available anytime.  I figured I could try. It was cheaper than therapy! 

I found myself shocked at SO many things I had written a story for in my life, and maybe that is one reason that pulls me toward it, the writing aspect.  Every writer knows that stories that hit the page are only a fraction of the stories they have in their head.  I've unwound some stories, revised them and found peace and happiness I didn't know was possible. I am creating my own happy ending!

When describing coaching, Jody talks about coaches for sports teams who tell players how to perform better.  I think of life coaches, or Jody, like a really good friend that would listen to you and tell you what you need to hear.  Jody has sat (unknowingly to her) on many car rides with me as I drive all over Omaha and has become my Thelma and Louise friend.  This is to share with you my adventure as I be bold.  

 He was there.  I don't know it but I do.  Today in my study I ready about witnesses to an event, witnesses to Joseph Smith's claim of the reality of the Book of Mormon.  They saw and touched the cold metal, pressed into pages and carved to preserve the reality of the authors' existence.  Yet a small fraction of the world believes their witness, what they saw and felt.  Why?  Why are we as people so unbelieving?  I feel like the father in the New Testament who pleads, "Lord, help thou my unbelief."  We doubt and worry, question, wonder.  I wonder if it is in the empty space in between the begining and the end that we begin to not trust. It can be hard to remember the details, how it felt, wonder if we are tricking ourselves to believe in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny, naive.  No one likes to look like a fool, not in the halls of a high school wearing the wrong clothes under the burden of judgement others place on our shoulders, bowing us over in shame.  Belief has to be a choice.  

A month ago, my husband laid his hands on my children's heads and blessed them through priesthood power God has given to worthy men to benefit them in their lives.  He blessed them each with specific blessings regarding their schooling.  Kjerstin, also received a blessing, ready to head off to college, live with roommates out from under her parent's watchful, worrying eyes.  She was eager to prove to the world she was ready.  And I entered the empty space.  Three weeks in and I find out through a text that a girl in her apartment has COVID, which sees college campuses like a fruit fly sees a bowl of fruit.  My mind flies back to the photo she posted of her roommates crowded in a small car, out to get drinks a few days before, no masks, no distancing.  And I forgot.  I forgot that beautiful blessing where her Father promised her she would not get sick.  I had to be reminded.  And so I am documenting that He was there.  He was a 1000 miles away protecting my daughter when I can't be there.  I can only hope she will remember this tender mercy she has received and remember.  He works in mysterious ways and has his fingerprints in our lives if we stop to look and choose to believe.  

After a day of rain, wind and clouds, the sun came out today.  After living in Oregon, the rain doesn't bother me as much as it used to.  But there is something about the sun, especially during quarantine for COVID19.  It allows me space to breathe in this confinement. Periods of restlessness and anxiety attack me as my mind scurries forward.  How long can this go on?  I try to rein my consciousness back to the present, back to my comfortable yellow house filled with people I love.  We have what we need.  Food, water, shelter, a cupboard full of games, movies and each other. Soon my senior will leave to embark on her own path for life as she leaves for college.  Cherish my time with her, even as she spend time secluded in her bedroom.  She is still here, somewhere under my mother hen wings. 

It is Sunday, the Lord's day.  I sat on my couch and looked at the picture of Christ on my piano. My husband knelt and blessed the sacrament as our children sat around him.  He was blessing it for them. Pleading for them.  Words of a Father, asking for blessing for his children's souls, entreating them to remember Jesus, the only peace in this life and the next, and petitioning His Spirit to be with them.  It was very personal, the way the Savior wants the sacrament to be for us, intimate. 

We sang hymns of praise to Him.  I felt His spirit in this place.  I felt His light streaming down on me, trapped or free.  It is still there.  Yesterday, even in the bluster, there was a moment, when the sun broke through the clouds.  He never leaves. That comforts my mother heart as it stretches with children who leave the bundle of twigs and branches I call my nest.  He will still be there.  

Critchfield family status update 2015

This past fall, I started a graduate program in English at the University of Nebraska Omaha.  The following is an excerpt from an essay I wrote for my modern essay class.  We were supposed to write about something we are passionate about.  I am passionate about my family.  Bridger and I are busy as usual, not a lot changes with us except number of smile wrinkles we get from watching our kids learn and grow.  Merry Christmas all!

Why five?”  I am asked recently.  I start by saying that it is a very personal decision.  Plus, I don’t see them as five.  I see them as Corban, Kjerstin, Brynna, Daven, and Gideon.  They are each unique and I wonder what they will bring to the world around them.  I don’t see one of them I could do without.

Corban (15) is one of the most tenderhearted boys I’ve ever met.  He is so appreciative when I change his bed sheets each week. He is always sure to tell me thank you, and exaggerates that I’m the best mom, which I don’t mind.

Kjerstin(13) is smart and stubborn. I wouldn’t be surprised if she finds a cure one day for cancer, but you might have to tell her she can’t first. 

Brynna (11) is organized and particular about how everything should be.  She could be a project manager or event planner at age 11. 

Daven (7) loves to talk.  He could be a counselor or a public relations specialist.  He loves to tell me he loves me. 

Gideon (5) is still too young for me to pinpoint his dominant attributes yet, besides being a future power ranger.  He does things that surprise me daily.  He definitely thinks outside the box, and is physically strong and funny. There isn’t a day that goes by that he doesn’t make me smile.  I love my children.  I wouldn’t change what I have or don’t have for any one of them.  So, why five?  Why not?

Christmas 2014

It is funny how times and seasons in our lives change.  I remember a Christmas when Corban was 2 and Kjerstin was 6 months old.  I had time that December to sit and read Christmas stories and to sit and play Christmas music on the piano.  At the beginning of this month, I was talking to a friend who was reminding me to cut back on the non-essential things.  She gave some examples.  The things she said had already been cut from my list and more.  It is a reminder that many of the things we associate with Christmas are not really Christmas.  And with that let me give you the run down of who, what, where, when, and why of our busy family and lives.

The highlight of the year was Bridger completing his Chartered Property and Casualty Underwriter (CPCU) designation this year.  The conferment ceremony was in Anaheim, CA in September.  We took the opportunity to take the kids to Disneyland.  It was fun to be in southern California where Bridger and I spent our honeymoon 15 years ago.  It was fun to see the areas I knew from my mission. Brynna got to spend her 10th birthday on an airplane.  It was nice to get away from Bridger’s work, my church responsibilities, and the kids school activities for a little time together.  

Bridger moved his office from Omaha to Lincoln and is now managing nationwide farm and ranch claims.  I am still the relief society president for our local congregation.  

Corban (14) is a freshman in high school.  He took journalism this last semester and will now be able to help with the school newspaper.  He is on the school bowling team and in computer club.  Don’t forget early morning seminary!  He is one busy kid!  

Kjerstin (12) is in 7th grade at the middle school.  She is in show choir.  She was an assistant director for the community play the Missoula Childrens Theater put on this summer (which Corban and Brynna were in). Kjerstin completed a gingerbread display she designed, built and decorated on her own for a young women’s project. She is very studious. She is my right hand helping out.  

Brynna (10) is playing basketball again.  She loves helping her dad in the yard.  She is my animal lover and was so excited to ride a horse at Thanksgiving this year.  She is learning Nebraska history this year. Being from Idaho, she is chartering new ground here for our family.  Maybe she will make us true Nebraskans after all.

Daven (7) is in first grade.  He likes to talk A LOT.  He has tried soccer and basketball this year.  He is a really good reader, and is even better at giving me hugs.

Gideon (4) started preschool this year at the elementary school.  He loves being big enough to go to school like all his siblings.  He is so active and school helps him learn to slow down a little bit.  That is good, because I don’t think I can keep up!  I thought I would have more time to myself with him being in school 4 days a week, but somehow the opposite has happened.  It must be the season of life we are in right now.  It is busy, but we are blessed and happy.  We wish you all our love and hope you are enjoying whatever season of life you may be in!

January 19, 2014

I had a good chat with my little (wiser) sister this week.  We don't get to chat often these days.  She asked me about my goals.  I said I didn't set any because I wasn't sure what I could complete.  She told me about an article she read about a lady who was in a serious car accident.  She woke up on the ride to the hospital in the ambulance.  She first realized she was still alive.  Then several things were on her mind.  When she recuperated and returned home, she found the envelope with her goals written on it.  She opened the envelope and none of the things that really mattered (the things she was thinking about on her ambulance ride) were on her list.  I have thus decided I will make my own ambulance ride list and have it for goals. 
Corban is taking a cooking class this quarter.  His life is forever evolved to realize brownies are actually a cookie!  Who knew!  He now wants to try chocolate chip cookie bars.  You can make anything a bar!  It opens a whole new world! (He doesn't realize he has had them and didn't even know it!  Shhhh!)
Gideon stood up on the bench today in church and shook his booty while saying that aloud.  He is a character that little boy! 
Brynna is playing basketball right now.  The sheer delight on her face as she runs down the court is like a kid splashing in a pool on a hot day.  She is loving it! It makes the basketball chauffeur Saturdays worth it!
Daven's teacher tried to teach the kids about Martin Luther King Jr. Day by giving all the girls a Hershey kiss and making the boys sit and watch them eat it.  After she gave them all M&M's.  She said the kids didn't really get it.  Lesson, chocolate is the world's great equalizer.  J/K  Happy Martin Luther King Day!