Facing December

I have spent some time lately in the Lord’s classroom and unfortunately I can’t say I’m such a great student. I think it is hard and wondering why I have to go to school because I am too tired, saying I am not smart and all sorts of other murmurings. I have really enjoyed re-reading the conference issue of the Ensign. I also really enjoyed the 1st Presidency’s Christmas devotional last night. I have felt a bit like the Grinch lately. I hear, “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!” and I think, “Really?” Is it so wonderful to be so busy and feeling so poor because you can spend a $1000 in a month and still have other things you could buy? I really haven’t enjoyed Christmas. It means more things for me to do and more people for me to try to please and I really don’t feel up to the task. Kids list seem unending. And I know that there will still probably be one or two gifts they wanted that they won’t get. I love the meaning of Christmas they laid out for us last night. I volunteered at the Festival of Trees Gift Shop last week. I read a book while I was waiting called The Magic of Christmas. IT is about some cute little mice who wonder if the magic is in the snow and the sledding and the baking, etc. The end of the story says it is being together that makes the magic. I don’t necessarily agree with that either. I loved my Christmas’s as a missionary and the ones when we were living in Oregon by ourselves and didn’t see any other family. I remember Christmas being magical for me when I was a kid. I want that back. I make goodies to take to our neighbors and those we care about but they are the ones who really don’t need the food. Their counters are overflowing with goodies others have brought as well. I loved how President Monson said that the Christmas’ he remembered were the ones where he was giving service to others. I loved how President Uchtdorf said we need to think about Christ’s role in our own lives and focus on that. It was just the medicine by grinchy heart that was two sizes too small needed. I think I am ready to face December again!