Who can be mad with a face like this?

Gideon has liked to be up from 2am to 4am since he was born. He is not fussy but just awake. He is doing better. He is usually up at 4am now and up for only 1 hour (not including feedings, this is just awake and not hungry). He is so cute, though, I can't be mad. He smiles and jabbers at me. I had one of the sisters I visit teach describe these times "sacred moments." It is just me and him and the house is so quiet and it will be gone before I know it, so like I said, who can be mad?

Gideon's Blessing

Sunday we blessed Gideon. Daven threw up Saturday night and I woke up Sunday morning with a migraine. It is never dull having five children. Gideon will be our last child. It is a little hard to believe we did this for the first time 10 years ago and have now done it five times. It is always interesting for me to hear their blessing because it is a peek of what their life may be like. I am amazed at the spiritual strength I perceive that these children have who have been born into such a wicked world. The Lord really does send his choice spirits in this dispensation of the fullness of times. It places more responsibility on me, too, to teach my children who they really are and to help them develop the testimonies to be able to withstand the temptations and trials they may face. In many ways I feel inferior to the task, but with any calling, whom the Lord calls, he qualifies. With that faith, I will go forward for the next 10 years and beyond!

Underestimate Yourself

When I opened my email a few weeks, ago there was a friend request from Facebook from someone whose name I didn't recognize. With the request was a note asking if I was the Sister Goodliffe he had served with in the California Riverside Mission. I now recognized the name but still didn't remember more than the name. Why was he looking me up? I responded to the email and responded that I was who he had served with. He said I was one of the missionaries that stood out to him, and what a respect he has for sister missionaries. It surprised me that I stood out. He is happily married. Bridger would say it was for the physical characteristics of being a woman. I don't buy it. I had the worst haircut I have ever gotten about 5 months into my mission and I gained weight. It wasn't a pretty sight. So then I have to take what he said at face value and say, "Really?" I go through life pretty much thinking there is nothing special about me in particular. It surprises you when you find out an impact you have made in someone else's life. To me, it is kind of a testimony builder that I am a unique child of God with divine characteristics. In addition, I think I have"underestimated"myself a good portion of my life. I think that Satan uses it as a technique to hinder what good we can accomplish. I think it is good to remind ourselves of that occasionally that we are children of God and remember that when we put ourselves in the Lord's hands, he can make more of our lives than we can by ourselves.

General Conference and Easter

First of all, I really enjoyed General Conference. I am sure it is probably because I am teaching the marriage and family relations class but I felt so many of the talks were what parents need to be doing better-which is why I think I have the calling because I NEED to do better. Corban is almost ten and my time and influence with him is quickly passing. I need to make sure my kids know that I love them and love to be home and have a testimony of the gospel. I loved Sister Beck's comment how women need to be women and not babies. It is a shocking remark. She is a bold woman! Sometimes I think it would be nice to be a baby, especially when I look at Gideon and he just eats and sleeps and is wrapped up in nice warm blankets. But the Lord has more for me to do!

My kids love conference because it is the only time I make coffee cake. Sweet words of prophets, sweet cake! A time for them to look forward to it with their appetites at the present. I also have a conference afghan that I work on only during conference so I can stay awake. It hasn't made much progress since Bridger and I have been married, maybe two feet in length. It will be a tradition. I love having it draped on my kids keeping them warm and maybe having them associate it with the Comforter as they once again listen to the words of the prophets. Maybe I am not doing so bad with this parenting thing but I have a long ways to go and it is not easy.

Just today, I decided not to do anything for Easter besides just candy to try to preserve the spiritual meaning of it. I had complaints from at least 2 of the 3 children who can talk. I waver between feeling like they are spoiled and I need to be tougher on them and giving in and making them happy because I want them to be happy! It is not easy! And this is a simple matter, nothing as complex as it can get. I am glad I have prophets who guide me and tell me what to do! I hope it one day to not have to be commanded in all things and be doing many things of my own thought process! Eternity is a long time and I'm glad it is because I might need it!

P.S. The photos are of the kids enjoying a conference dogpile(with their Dad's help) and Gideon's version of Easter! As my Mom says every Easter to me, "He is Risen!"

Flying

I have been trying to rehabilitate myself to FlyLady lately. She has a website http://www.flylady.com/ if you haven't heard of her and are curious. She basically lays out how to clean your house (including spring cleaning) without having to go on a cleaning spree and kill yourself. I have been reading "Sink Reflections" which she wrote (since I have been nursing and have to have something to do or I will fall asleep) and have liked some of the things she says. I am not really "flying" (as she calls it) yet. I am still working out my system and how it will work for me in my life, but I thought I would share these things I liked.
The first in what she calls "Running on Empty." She asks how many of you have been driving to an appointment or pick up the kids and you notice your gas gauge is on empty but you don't have time to stop and get gas because you are already ten minutes late. I can relate to that. I haven't yet run out of gas-but it makes Corban awfully nervous. He watches the gas gauge more than I do! She then asks how many of us are running on empty. Empty mind (no time to think), empty body (you don't take care of yourself by eating right), and empty of spirit (depressed and feel martyred). You do this until you can't keep going and then you crash and burn and get sick.
She tells you to take care of yourself by getting dressed first thing in the day from head to toe so you look and feel nice (no more wearing sweats or pajamas or exercise clothes because I am going to exercise for half of the day). Then you are ready to take care of others which is what we do as mothers. I haven't got this mastered yet, but I like the concept. She also suggests drinking water, eating regularly, going to bed on time, schedule breaks as you are working, take a bubble bath, etc. I think I can benefit from this.
Also she tells us not to be martyrs thinking we are the only ones cleaning and no one else helps, etc. Basically when mama ain't happy ain't nobody happy. So we need to happily go about doing our jobs and "blessing" (as she calls it) our family and they will catch on. She says if children aren't doing their jobs, take it away from them and give them a job they will enjoy so they can find joy in their work. She says don't expect perfection from them because we can't expect perfection from ourselves! She has a letter from a lady who did this and she said her teenage daughter hugs her and smiles and thanks her AND helps out when she is asked. What she has preserved is the relationship. Both she and her daughter are happy when before they both were grouchy. Attitude is everything. She calls cleaning, "Blessing our home." I have a long way to go but Rome wasn't built in a day!

P.S. Sorry this post is so long. I meant to get it up last week but I never had the book with me and time to go get the book when I was on the computer- see, I need flylady!