After a day of rain, wind and clouds, the sun came out today.  After living in Oregon, the rain doesn't bother me as much as it used to.  But there is something about the sun, especially during quarantine for COVID19.  It allows me space to breathe in this confinement. Periods of restlessness and anxiety attack me as my mind scurries forward.  How long can this go on?  I try to rein my consciousness back to the present, back to my comfortable yellow house filled with people I love.  We have what we need.  Food, water, shelter, a cupboard full of games, movies and each other. Soon my senior will leave to embark on her own path for life as she leaves for college.  Cherish my time with her, even as she spend time secluded in her bedroom.  She is still here, somewhere under my mother hen wings. 

It is Sunday, the Lord's day.  I sat on my couch and looked at the picture of Christ on my piano. My husband knelt and blessed the sacrament as our children sat around him.  He was blessing it for them. Pleading for them.  Words of a Father, asking for blessing for his children's souls, entreating them to remember Jesus, the only peace in this life and the next, and petitioning His Spirit to be with them.  It was very personal, the way the Savior wants the sacrament to be for us, intimate. 

We sang hymns of praise to Him.  I felt His spirit in this place.  I felt His light streaming down on me, trapped or free.  It is still there.  Yesterday, even in the bluster, there was a moment, when the sun broke through the clouds.  He never leaves. That comforts my mother heart as it stretches with children who leave the bundle of twigs and branches I call my nest.  He will still be there.  

Critchfield family status update 2015

This past fall, I started a graduate program in English at the University of Nebraska Omaha.  The following is an excerpt from an essay I wrote for my modern essay class.  We were supposed to write about something we are passionate about.  I am passionate about my family.  Bridger and I are busy as usual, not a lot changes with us except number of smile wrinkles we get from watching our kids learn and grow.  Merry Christmas all!

Why five?”  I am asked recently.  I start by saying that it is a very personal decision.  Plus, I don’t see them as five.  I see them as Corban, Kjerstin, Brynna, Daven, and Gideon.  They are each unique and I wonder what they will bring to the world around them.  I don’t see one of them I could do without.

Corban (15) is one of the most tenderhearted boys I’ve ever met.  He is so appreciative when I change his bed sheets each week. He is always sure to tell me thank you, and exaggerates that I’m the best mom, which I don’t mind.

Kjerstin(13) is smart and stubborn. I wouldn’t be surprised if she finds a cure one day for cancer, but you might have to tell her she can’t first. 

Brynna (11) is organized and particular about how everything should be.  She could be a project manager or event planner at age 11. 

Daven (7) loves to talk.  He could be a counselor or a public relations specialist.  He loves to tell me he loves me. 

Gideon (5) is still too young for me to pinpoint his dominant attributes yet, besides being a future power ranger.  He does things that surprise me daily.  He definitely thinks outside the box, and is physically strong and funny. There isn’t a day that goes by that he doesn’t make me smile.  I love my children.  I wouldn’t change what I have or don’t have for any one of them.  So, why five?  Why not?

Christmas 2014

It is funny how times and seasons in our lives change.  I remember a Christmas when Corban was 2 and Kjerstin was 6 months old.  I had time that December to sit and read Christmas stories and to sit and play Christmas music on the piano.  At the beginning of this month, I was talking to a friend who was reminding me to cut back on the non-essential things.  She gave some examples.  The things she said had already been cut from my list and more.  It is a reminder that many of the things we associate with Christmas are not really Christmas.  And with that let me give you the run down of who, what, where, when, and why of our busy family and lives.

The highlight of the year was Bridger completing his Chartered Property and Casualty Underwriter (CPCU) designation this year.  The conferment ceremony was in Anaheim, CA in September.  We took the opportunity to take the kids to Disneyland.  It was fun to be in southern California where Bridger and I spent our honeymoon 15 years ago.  It was fun to see the areas I knew from my mission. Brynna got to spend her 10th birthday on an airplane.  It was nice to get away from Bridger’s work, my church responsibilities, and the kids school activities for a little time together.  

Bridger moved his office from Omaha to Lincoln and is now managing nationwide farm and ranch claims.  I am still the relief society president for our local congregation.  

Corban (14) is a freshman in high school.  He took journalism this last semester and will now be able to help with the school newspaper.  He is on the school bowling team and in computer club.  Don’t forget early morning seminary!  He is one busy kid!  

Kjerstin (12) is in 7th grade at the middle school.  She is in show choir.  She was an assistant director for the community play the Missoula Childrens Theater put on this summer (which Corban and Brynna were in). Kjerstin completed a gingerbread display she designed, built and decorated on her own for a young women’s project. She is very studious. She is my right hand helping out.  

Brynna (10) is playing basketball again.  She loves helping her dad in the yard.  She is my animal lover and was so excited to ride a horse at Thanksgiving this year.  She is learning Nebraska history this year. Being from Idaho, she is chartering new ground here for our family.  Maybe she will make us true Nebraskans after all.

Daven (7) is in first grade.  He likes to talk A LOT.  He has tried soccer and basketball this year.  He is a really good reader, and is even better at giving me hugs.

Gideon (4) started preschool this year at the elementary school.  He loves being big enough to go to school like all his siblings.  He is so active and school helps him learn to slow down a little bit.  That is good, because I don’t think I can keep up!  I thought I would have more time to myself with him being in school 4 days a week, but somehow the opposite has happened.  It must be the season of life we are in right now.  It is busy, but we are blessed and happy.  We wish you all our love and hope you are enjoying whatever season of life you may be in!

January 19, 2014

I had a good chat with my little (wiser) sister this week.  We don't get to chat often these days.  She asked me about my goals.  I said I didn't set any because I wasn't sure what I could complete.  She told me about an article she read about a lady who was in a serious car accident.  She woke up on the ride to the hospital in the ambulance.  She first realized she was still alive.  Then several things were on her mind.  When she recuperated and returned home, she found the envelope with her goals written on it.  She opened the envelope and none of the things that really mattered (the things she was thinking about on her ambulance ride) were on her list.  I have thus decided I will make my own ambulance ride list and have it for goals. 
Corban is taking a cooking class this quarter.  His life is forever evolved to realize brownies are actually a cookie!  Who knew!  He now wants to try chocolate chip cookie bars.  You can make anything a bar!  It opens a whole new world! (He doesn't realize he has had them and didn't even know it!  Shhhh!)
Gideon stood up on the bench today in church and shook his booty while saying that aloud.  He is a character that little boy! 
Brynna is playing basketball right now.  The sheer delight on her face as she runs down the court is like a kid splashing in a pool on a hot day.  She is loving it! It makes the basketball chauffeur Saturdays worth it!
Daven's teacher tried to teach the kids about Martin Luther King Jr. Day by giving all the girls a Hershey kiss and making the boys sit and watch them eat it.  After she gave them all M&M's.  She said the kids didn't really get it.  Lesson, chocolate is the world's great equalizer.  J/K  Happy Martin Luther King Day!

I didn't make Christmas treats for neighbors, I didn't make Christmas treats at all really.  I didn't get a letter sent out. Yet Christmas came all the same!  I enjoyed reading all the letters and cards we received.  I wrote this and figured I would post it to the blog at least.  Happy New Year!

While 13 is supposed to be an unlucky number, 2013 was a good year for our family. 

Bridger was able to complete his Chartered Property and Casualty Underwriter (CPCU) designation this year.  It is a course of 8 college level classes that he has studied for in his free time (haha) to complete.  In our kids’ terms, it means we will be able to go to Disneyland this September for his commencement ceremony.  We are all very excited about this!

I (Cindy) was called as relief society president (leader of the women’s organization in our church) for our local congregation here in Nebraska.  It has become a big portion of all of our lives as everyone in the family has had to pick up the slack of what I don’t have time for anymore.  We went to Idaho for a stint over the summer.  It was nice to see family and friends and get away from the rigors of normal life.  I don’t have much time to read.  I have less time to exercise.  But I like the quote,” Motherhood, it was what you were given time for.”  Giving to them and to others seems to define who I am right now.

Corban went to scout camp for the first time this year and while there, ate a taco for the first time, and actually liked it!  He is in 8^th grade at the middle school and will start at the high school next year.  He is the deacons quorum president.  He still loves jumping on our trampoline close to 365 days a year in any type of weather.

Kjerstin started 6^th grade this year at the middle school.  She tried out for the show choir and made it. She has enjoyed it a lot.  She takes pride in her grades, and loves to learn and have fun.

Brynna is in 3rd grade.  She got braces this year, and will soon start basketball.  She has a developing testimony.  One of the things she asked for this year for Christmas was to be more Christlike. 

Daven is in kindergarten and got new glasses for school this year.  He has wavered between wanting to go and wanting to stay home with Mom.  He is still super duper talkative.  He has told us stories about his “other” family in China, but he recently told me I am his favorite Mom. For him, that is saying something!   

Gideon is very busy as always.  I enjoy staying home with him to hear the funny and cute things he says to me daily.  He keeps me on my toes.  He is the apple of his siblings eyes as well.  They all love him. 

Here is a Christmas message that spoke to me as I am often late, in the relief society and wonder when I will get my own act together.  May each of you feel your own worth in our Heavenly Father’s eyes and our hearts. 

http://segullah.org/daily-special/sabbath-revival-and-the-soul-felt-its-worth/

Catch up (not catsup!)

I have been keeping a list of things I want to blog about.  It is a little hard to condense three months into a post.  I will try. 

Gideon
The weather here has been wacky.  If it was Idaho, it would be normal. But Nebraskans say this is not normal.  We had a snowstorm May 1.  Gideon has taken to wearing a backpack he got for Christmas everywhere.  He sees Daven wear one to school so he wants to wear one, too.  I have a photo of him jumping on the trampoline with the snow and his backpack on. He is a character and a half.  He has done a somersault down the aisle at church during sacrament meeting one time when he snuck away from us.  He also likes to do headstands on the bench in sacrament meeting.  He is now finally potty trained.  I can say that I am now done with diapers and I won't have to (hopefully) potty train another child.  He is quite the boy. 
Daven
Daven keeps me laughing.  He has told Bridger that he has a crush on me.  He is always telling me that he loves me.  The last week has been CRAZY relief society busy.  I have been a little stressed and grouchy.  He came up to me one day and said, "Mom, I forgive you."  I asked why.  I was told it was because I have been so grouchy.  If he keeps that up, he will be set for life.  He has also recently told us MANY stories about his other family that he has in China.  He has another mom, dad, grandpa, grandma, 2 brothers and 3 sisters.  He tells us their names and stuff they do.  He keeps me smiling.
Brynna
Brynna, Corban and Kjerstin are taking tennis lessons right now.  Brynna just finished swimming lessons with Daven and Gideon.  We were going to a sporting goods store one day.  Brynna was excited we were going.  Corban asked why she was excited because he said she wasn't athletic. She responded, "I am, too!  I have taken dance and gymnastics.  I am taking tennis now and I want to take basketball in the fall!"  She is a happy go lucky girl who loves to cuddle. 
Kjerstin
Kjerstin bore her testimony in sacrament meeting in April about how it had been a year since we have moved her and how hard it had been.  Then she said that she has decided that she is glad because she has the opportunity to share the gospel with more people now.  After her testimony she told me she is never doing that again.  I asked what she would never do.  She said "bear a grown up testimony and not say the stuff that kids usually say."  I told her that she did great and I was sure before she died she would do it again.  She had a project in school called an "I Am" project. They take an ipod home and record themselves doing things in their life that represent them.  While that is playing they make several "I Am" statements about themselves.  The first thing she said was "I am a Mormon because I belong to the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints."  I was amazed at her boldness.  If we moved here just to increase her testimony, it was worth it! On a funny note, we were doing family scripture study recently and she asked, "Can I please read in an accent?"  I think a foreign mission is on the horizon for her! She celebrated her 11th birthday this week.  She is growing up. She didn't ask for a decoration cake this year.  She wanted a cake for it's flavor rather than decoration.  We went to an art place here and the kids each got to make a painting.  I think she is quite talented in that area.  She must have got it from her Dad!
Corban
Corban gave his first talk as a youth speaker in church.  We don't usually have youth speakers.  Corban is the deacon's quorum president.  In bishops youth council, Corban suggested it.  They responeded, "That is a good way to volunteer yourself."  Corban said he didn't care and he would speak.  Sure enough! He was called to speak on mother's day.   I was grateful that he did not use a line he used in his practices where he said mothers love their children so much that they would jump in the sky to get a bomb to protect their children.  Other than that, he did okay.  He also had a drama class.  He had a short performance.  It was great to see him out of his element.  He enjoyed it as he requested Drama as an elective for next year.  His line for was to sing "The Love Boat."  He doesn't even know that show.  It was funny for the adults, I guess. 
I got our garden in and put a rabbit proof fence around it.  I can understand how Farmer McGregor felt as the bunnies kept creeping in to eat his garden!  I also made good on my threat of no electronics for a week with the kiddos.  After the week, I asked how it had been.  My response was "Boring."  I thought it was great.  I did it before school got out to try to bite the electronics habit in the butt before summer began and they thought it was an electronics fest all day every day.  We had our first real hail storm here in Nebraska.  I was at the church so the van in the parking lot took the brunt of it.  The roof is dented and one of the back tail lights was broken out.  It makes me glad I don't have a car that I worry about those kind of things about.  Speaking of cars, Bridger was rear ended twice in a 10 day period.  He was not injured.  Hopefully we have met our quota!
I hope that sums up our adventures that last few months.  I will try to update as I can.  I am still swimming in the duties of relief society president.  We will leave for Idaho on my birthday.  I am excited mostly for my relief society break!  Maybe a blog post will result!

Relief Society takes over

As you can tell, I haven't had time to write lately.  I have been consumed with daily demands of life and the demands of my new calling.  I am wondering if I will ever feel like I know how to be a relief society president.  The out going president told me when I get released I will be sad.  I am not there yet, so I guess I won't be getting released any time soon!  I wanted to post a picture of Gideon's birthday cake.  His birthday was February 10th.  He had a Luigi cake.  I tried a new recipe from Pinterest with a 3 layer chocolate cake with the middle layer being brownie instead of cake with my favorite Test Kitchen chocolate frosting.  It was very good!  I know that because it didn't last around here very long.  Daven's cake lasted longer than I would like to admit.  It is our year for family birthday parties instead of friend parties.  I like that year!  We will do some fun activity as a family.  We haven't yet done it.  Now that the kids are finished swim team for the season we might have some time for that. We are taking a break from activities for awhile.  I need a break to learn to juggle my new challenges with my calling.  Bridger has had some stress with work lately, too.  That is a good thing about my calling.  I can empathize with more of Bridger's stresses at work.  We had stake conference today.  It was a regional broadcast from Salt Lake.  It was very good.  I actually heard some of the talks!  It is nice to have a Sunday to relax.  I actually took a nap today.  It was very nice.  I could handle more Sundays like this!