Holding Hands

I found out about a writing contest and I started a piece for it. It is due this week. It might be a start of my writing journey. Here is the topic: "Do you have a story that begins with another person’s hand in yours? Do you have strong memories of the wrinkled hand of a beloved grandmother? Has your life been changed by the grasping hand of a child? The reassuring hand of a friend? We invite you to tell us a story about “holding hands,” whatever this phrase evokes in you. Do you see holding hands as a revolutionary act? An opening for a heart connection? A bridge across generations? A cure for loneliness? An antidote to violence? Can holding hands change the world?
Your story might explore themes of mentorship, connection, taboo, solidarity, violence, relationships, sensuality, family, love, friendship, healing, bridging difference, or anything in between. We encourage you to broadly interpret the theme.
Here is what I have so far. I am not sure I am done editing.

As my baby wraps his tiny little fingers around one of my fingers, I feel what true love is. Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband, but there is nothing like a mothers love. A mother’s love is hands that hold you up as an infant, and hold you up whenever you seem to need them.
For mothers day I sent an email to my Mom saying how much I love and appreciate her sticking by me, even in my not so brilliant times. The reply I got: “I loved you then, I love you now, and I will always love you!” How does she show that? With her hands.
Just recently, she held me up emotionally as she placed her arms around me to empathize with the frustration of a surprise C-section, and physically by showing up at my house almost every day for 6 weeks (even days I told her not to come)to take care of me, my house and my family.
Music can give strength in times of trial that no words can match. My Mom knows this. Magic happens when my Mom touches a piano. She has taught countless children (including her own) to play; not to make money, but because if no one learns now, who will play then. She is now older and has arthritis. It is not comfortable or easy for her to play, yet she is teaching my daughters (8 and 6) to play. Her hands are still lifting.
When I walk in my Mom’s house, I know there will be good food there. She shows her love for others by cooking. When I was in high school, she would stay up late typing my papers for me and then get up at 4:45am to make me breakfast, and read the scriptures to me (because she knew that was the only way I would get the scriptures and the food), then drive me to early morning drill team. Right now she has been cooking for a neighbor going through chemotherapy for breast cancer since that is one way she knows to love.
From holding hands with me as and infant to holding my hand now, a mothers love is a love that supports and sustains all through life.

One week to go for May to finally be over!

What a crazy week. We had Brynna’s preschool graduation. Brynna insisted on wearing her Dad's graduation cap even though they made their own at preschool. It is the only year I will probably have two graduates and it could happen! I am really proud of her. She is doing a really good job learning to read. She loves to be a tease, but she can be very responsible at times, too. It seems not so long ago she was the size of Gideon and I would rock her and rock her and just look at her. I do love my kids.

Kjerstin and Brynna performed in their first piano recital. Here is picture with them and my mom. They won't know until much later that they have just had the most talented teacher they may ever get! It is amazing how much they have learned in a few short months of taking piano. I AM glad not to have to remind them to practice for a few months.

We picked out a baptismal dress for Kjerstin yesterday. It is very pretty. I really like shopping with her and I am glad she likes it, too. Her birthday/baptism are coming up too quickly. Here is her biography I wrote and the picture I took. They hand it out with the programs on Sunday so all the ward can get to know the newest ward member. She has had the site for the photo picked out for months. What a girl!

"Kjerstin was born on June 5, 2002 in Orem, UT to Bridger and Cindy Critchfield. She is the 2nd of 5 children and has 3 brothers (Corban, Daven, and Gideon) and 1 sister (Brynna). She loves to perform and is constantly seeking an audience. She is a born leader and loves to organize things. She is a good friend to all her siblings, and loves playing with her cousins and friends. Kjerstin is very talented at art and loves to create things. She is a big help in the kitchen. Her favorite food is crispitos and her favorite dessert is popsicles. She is currently taking gymnastics and shows quite an aptitude for it. She thinks it is pretty neat that she gets to be baptized on her birthday. She loves to be on the trampoline, play tag, rollerblade, and play in the water (especially in the summer). She likes math and reading and will be in the third grade next year. Her teachers tell us she is always ready to help other students with their work. Her favorite thing about primary is the lessons. Her favorite primary song is "Jesus Said Love Everyone."

Another busy week!

Bridger was in Montana this week. He was in charge of a meeting for their unit. It was a lot of responsibility and I think it went well. He had some stupid experiences happen, too. One of the guys he worked with kept stealing his ideas, and not communicating with Bridger. He had some people talk negatively about the meeting while he was standing right there, too. He had lots of good comments as well. And it was a good taste of leadership for him. I am proud of him and I think he enjoyed it. He really doesn’t have much time to himself. We need to figure out a way to take the yard off of his hands and I don’t know Gideon is up for me doing it. Maybe when the kids are out of school it will seems better. I need to figure out summer plans as well for them. Being a mother is much like being a cruise director in the summer.
I took the preschool kids to the zoo. It will be the last time I have them. Brynna told me it was boring because she just had to walk around and look at animals. She told everyone else it was fun. I think I will believe her report to others.

Bridger spoke at his Dad’s retirement dinner this week as well. He did awesome. I love hearing him speak in public. He does a great job.

It was the also the father son campout this weekend. Daven, Corban, Bridger and his Dad went. I think they had fun if you call camping fun. I took the girls out to Taco Bell with another mom and her girls. Then we went to their house and painted nails. I think we had more fun but that is just because I don’t like camping! I am still debating if I can hack the annual Memorial Day camping trip to American Falls. Even Corban said today, “I don’t like that place.” Neither do I!

This next week I don’t think the kids will do much classwork. They have 2 more weeks left and I think it is mostly play. Not for me!

A busy weekend

We did it! We made it through a graduation, a concert, and mother's day. It was a crazy weekend made all the longer by a baby who was fussy due to shots and a cold on top of it. We decided to have Bridger walk because we wanted out kids to see him so they could put more of a value on college education. I hope it worked. It was pretty cute. When he was being hooded, and it was silent, and 7 (almost 8) year old girl yells, "DADDY!" I think he may have been the only graduate with 5 kids. It has been a long 4 years for all of us and it was very rewarding to have a finale to it all!

Corban was the only one in our family singing this time in TaVaci. They did an awesome number where they made rythmn out of everyday objects to make a song. It was cool. My girls will have a piano recital in a week.

May 8th was also the anniversary of our first date. We didn't have time to celebrate on the 8th but I did make a quiche which was our first dinner I made as a married couple. We are in need of a real date but I can't figure out when we have time for one!

Great article about Mothers Day Blues

http://ldsmag.com/familyconnections/100507blues.html

You are not behind! I don't want you to try to catch up; I just want you to jump in where we are. O.K.?

The title is a flylady saying. I am a few weeks behind in updating this blog. Today I was going to do yard work but as you can see from the photo, a May snow has surprised and cancelled my plans, so maybe I can get something written in here about the last few weeks. I have had strep, the stomach flu and a normal old cold virus that hasn't been fun. The kids and Bridger have all been sick, too. When you are sick, you just don't feel like anything exciting is happening in your life. And now it is May. I think it should be called "May Madness" instead of "March Madness." With all the end of the year concerts, recitals, field trips, graduations, etc. It is a crazy month! Bridger is working more and now I get to figure yard work into my schedule (like I had a day that wasn't already full). This weekend Bridger is graduating. We wanted the kids to see him walk to show them the importance of college. I am so proud of him. It hasn't been easy juggling the demands of family, work, church and school. It is also the TaVaci concert for the kids. It is also Mother's Day. I have mixed feelings about the day. I can do so much better as a mother so it can be a reminder of all the ways I want to improve, but I love a little pampering, too. I ordered myself some cleaning tools from FlyLady to see if I can fly faster and get more done to enjoy time with my family more. With being so busy and sick, I have struggled to do more than I have to do each day to keep up. I haven't scheduled the joy into my day. I found this this list of questions to ask yourself from Wendy Watson Nelson's book, "Change your Questions, Change your Life." Maybe if I ask myself these questions, I won't feel overwhelmed, behind, and missing out of the joy.

1. What is on my premortal list of things to do while on earth?
2. What is the one question I most need to have answered from the scriptures today?
3. What are three words to follow for a great life?
4. Whose agenda is this supporting?
5. If I were to pray for and picture the Holy Ghost beside me, how would I manage this difficult situation?
6. How can I be more of my true self at the end of this experience?
7. What do I know to be true?

Happy Mother's Day to all of you and remember, You are not behind! I don't want you to try to catch up; I just want you to jump in where we are. O.K.?!

Who can be mad with a face like this?

Gideon has liked to be up from 2am to 4am since he was born. He is not fussy but just awake. He is doing better. He is usually up at 4am now and up for only 1 hour (not including feedings, this is just awake and not hungry). He is so cute, though, I can't be mad. He smiles and jabbers at me. I had one of the sisters I visit teach describe these times "sacred moments." It is just me and him and the house is so quiet and it will be gone before I know it, so like I said, who can be mad?